Patrolman 'Ticket' Bob is walking Barrio Sin Numbre in his dream.
Something is following him. Dark alleyway flanked by small connected
adobe apartments, open dumpsters teaming w/cats. Fairy lights everywhere.
Smell of jasmine. Behind a luminous window a child is crying for forgiveness
in Spanish. A muffled arrhythmic slapping. Somewhere in the distance
a high school band is playing a cumbia or a mazurka or or maybe a
chote, he can't tell. He comes to a shrine. Center of the barrio.
Where someone has died violently.
An old man has married a young woman and is very happy for he loves
her deeply and she him but he is jealous he doesn't think that he,
still strong but old, can keep her, falls into fits when any younger
man comes near. He has to go to the mountains; has to gather firewood
for the winter; is gone for three days. When he returns, his burro
laden down with wood, he finds his young wife sitting on their doorstep
chatting happily, a young man sitting next to her. Close. Too close..
In a rage he kills them both, chops them to pieces with his ax. This
young man is no lover but the woman's brother come up from Sonora.
Two days later the old man hangs himself in his cell. Where his house
stood now a shrine.
Violent death means the dead didn't have time to confess, are stuck
in Purgatory. This being closer in a way to the living world the living
build a shrine, call on the dead for advise, do small favors, pass
a good word on upstairs.
The shrine is a U shape. Low plastered adobe walls on either side,
built up at the end, concave & blackened. There are crosses made
of stone also twisted palm fronds, iron racks for candles. Candles
burning everywhere, the ground is soaked with a greasy wax. 'Ticket'
Bob wanders in. He has a vague idea of asking directions, maybe find
out what is following him. Suddenly he stops in his tracks.
On one wall sits the Devil. Blue as a dead baby. Naked, his long
penis hangs down a distended water balloon. Bulbous & barbed at
the end it drips a pale pink flame that hisses & sputters smoke
as it hits the ground. Devil looks at him, smiles
"Fuck you in the ass buddy?"
He offers a clawed hand. He's holding a small brown vial.
"Hash oil. Best around. Take you to heaven then I leave you
in Hell. HA!"
Bob almost shits himself in fear. Then, in a panic, he wills his
sphincter shut.
"Not for a moment demon!"
Devil looks hurt, then coy, bats suddenly long eyelashes soft lines
curves appear. A feminine voice.
"Common Bobbie. Why so uptight? I know you want it. And you
know I can give you anything you want."
"But I'm a married man!"
Devil sniffs.
"Separated ... ice bitch from what I hear. Doncha want something
... real?"
"Listen ... Hey! You're not the one following me, are you?"
Devil's face darkens with rage. Bob jumps back quickly as it's penis
turns into an erect gnarled club. Devil smiles.
"Kiss it it turns into a B52 bomber."
Devil screams.
"NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON AN ENGLISH SAILOR!"
& shoots a huge steaming wad at the shrine taking candles, rack,
crosses walls leaving a gaping smoking hole. "Ticket" Bob
is flying out of there. In a blink. As if propelled. Behind him he
hears a faint whisper
"up the butt"
"Bert"
