SITTING AND THINKING AND MULLING AND DRINKING

He pours himself a new drink and thinks it over. His wife and another man. A black man. He is white. His wife is white too. She confessed to him want she did. She said, I have been sleeping with another man behind your back. She said, I wanted a real man. A real man who knew how to show me a wild time. They had had some wild times. Back in college when they first started dating. In the parking lot between classes and more. Wild times. The first two years of their marriage. In restaurant bathrooms and airplanes and on amusement park rides. Wild times. And now, now she gave herself freely to another. She said, He?s big. The biggest penis I have ever seen or touched or had in me. It hurt, at first, but I got used to it. I got used to it real fast. He closes his eyes. He hopes for nothingness behind his eyes, but all he sees is the man and his wife. His large penis entering her. Like a close up in a porno. A saliva slick penis entering an eager vagina. Slow at first, then pounding, wild, hard thrusts, again and again and again, until a change of positions, until the eventual orgasm. The woman, his wife, is screaming in ecstasy. The man, not him, this black man, is focusing on the vagina wrapped around his penis. There is no condom on the penis. He wants to feel it. His penis in her vagina. She wants to feel him, the real him, his big penis. He opens his eyes. The image of the man?s penis in his wife?s vagina fades, but it lingers, still a thought rolling around inside his head. His head hurts. His brain wants to come out. To crawl to where the man lives and rip off his big penis and beat him to death with it. That?s not real. That?s only a thought in his head. She said, I never slept with a black man before. I wanted to see what it was like. He slept with a black woman once. It was nice. Her mouth opened wide. She swallowed his entire penis effortlessly. She also had a very warm vagina, and wanted his penis in it all night. This is not helping at all. He should do something. He downs the drink. Whiskey. He pours himself a new drink. He should do something. She said, You pulled away from me. You stopped caring. You stopped paying attention to me. You stopped taking me to bed. Do you know how that made me feel? How empty and sad I was? How can you be surprised by this? You did this. No, she did it. He was not the one with the big penis in his vagina. He doesn?t have a vagina. Of course he doesn?t. He?s a man. He has a penis. He has a gun. He has bullets. Plenty of bullets. He should really do something about this. He pours himself a new drink and thinks it over.